promises of a house

i cant promise you big houses
cant promise you a wealthy life
cant promise you  an easy life
i don't have a house to shelter you from storms
neither do i have the money to help you travel the world

my dreams are big and scary and i can't make you follow them
i can't promise you that i ll be here for ever
neither i can promise you i ll know all the answer

i however have a huge house called
my heart
ready to accept you in at any given time
my house is ready to shelter you from any storm
can't say that my house can take you on trips
but it can surely travel your soul to places beyond imagination
in my house you can rest your dreams and they will play along with mine
as long as this house stands tall ,it will be there for you
and even though it might not have all the answers
it will always  have the right ones to sooth your soul

all i ask

i am not perfect i know
but then again nobody is
i can't say i had a tough life
but neither i had a perfect one
my road wasn't straight
but it was fun
i have been hurt before
but i survived it all

so if you want to be in my life
know this first
i am not an easy person
but i am fun to be around
i can't say i am the best
but i ll always be there for you
treat me right i ll try you even better

if you planning on loving me
know this first
i have been heartbroken before
couple of times to be more presice
so all i ask is one thing
bare with me

cause i don't love easy anymore
but when i do is gonna be for real
so if you planning to love me
be real from the start
and have the guts to stand by me
cause i will fall again
and i will rise again
but if you are with me at my lowest
i ll always be with you at my heighest

i don't know what love is i confess

so what is love for you ?
love for me is...
the moment you see them for the  first time .
call me hopelessly romantic but i do believe in love at first sight
that feeling you have in your heart when you see the one you love
that feeling you have when you see her smile  and instantly everything turns so much better for you as well cause her smile can shine through all the darkness in you.
when she looks in your eyes it;s like she looks deep in you and your souls just connect and share their experience with just that look .
when you think of her and she text you out of the blue
when you plan your days ,your weekends your holidays with her
when you try to sleep at nights but she wonders in your thoughts messing you around and not letting you sleep
 but love is also when you miss her so much it's hurts
when she is no longer with you and you learn she is with another man ,that feeling you get in your heart ,of  a knife cutting you up.
you know it's not jealousy because you loved her before but that specific moment you know she might for ever gone
as you can see i don't really know what love is
i haven't been good with love in my life even though i know i love you
i don't know how to show it i confess
and when i do show it i don't know if its the right way
all i know is that we are apart
i tried to get you back but it was not meant to be back then
no it's not meant to be cause you are with another man
i can't make you stop being with him
and i won't stop your  happiness with him
but as bad as it's sounds i ll wait
i know some day  we ll be together
i know at some point we ll meet again and we ll be united by love once more
cause i remember the first time i saw you
and i remember the first time i kissed you
those memories will never fade away
they ll inhibit in my heart and forever wait you to come back
till then my love i confess
i loved you all this time and i failed to show it right
but  come next time
our love will be stronger than ever before ...

just like stars

just like the starts wait all day to shine through the night
just like that i ll wait
just like the sun lights up the start
just like that you light me up
no i don't say i am a star
but your are the sun
for without you i can't shine
and with you i am burning bright 

i do believe

Cant it  be one year
A year ago this season we where together
Maybe we still are in some other life
Everyday i really wish that we didn't broke up
Loving you was not a mistake
It was the best think i did in my life but i let it go away
And now we are worlds apart

I do believe though some day we ll be united by love again

Love that we did shared is never erased
Only when we fall to our graves we ll be apart but then again i ll love in the afterlife
Visiting your favorite places and eternally have our vacations
Everyday will be ours

You do know though that i still love you in this life aswell
Only that i wont wait till afterlife to be with you ,i will wait for ever more
Upon our next meet . i ll be forever yours

firestorm

you came in my life like a firestorm

so rare ,so beautiful so extreme 

but at the same time so destructive

the 36 list

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?  Tim burton

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? yes , photographer

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? sometimes yes :P so i am sure i am not saying bullshit :P

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? workout,friends,family,love, readin, relaxing :

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? couple of months ago 

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? the mind 

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?  yeap 

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

i don't have  a partner :P 

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? Mother

friends 

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? have more time with parents 

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. 

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? multilingual 

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? if i will get married and have kids 

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? being a famous photographer,,working on it 

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? loosing excessive weight achieving personal goals.

16. What do you value most in a friendship? loyalty and honesty 

17. What is your most treasured memory? none specific 

18. What is your most terrible memory? the death of family members and firends 

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? not really  ,i am ok the way  i am living 

20. What does friendship mean to you? everything 

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? big part especially in recent years 

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. 

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? it's close allright ,sure happier than most people , can't complain 

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? i love her 

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “my dreams ,the trip achieving them and enjoy the result 

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? one week ago , one week ago 

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? major health issues 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? that i love  all of my friends and family 

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?  a photograph of me and my passed away aunt 

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? mother cause i love her ,grandmother cause she raised me and my godmother for being there for me all the time ...

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Reasons

1: beautiful

2: dynamic

3: classy

4: fierce

5:WOMAN 

6: goal oriented

7 :dreamer

8 : really smart

9 : athletic

10: open mind

11 : funny

12 : emotional

13 : lover

14 : giver 

15 : wonderful smile

16 : positive 

17 : strong willed 

18 : friendly

19 : outgoing

20 : happy 

21 : mature

22 : respectful

23 : anti racist

24 : anti homophobes 

25 : talkative 

26 : supporter

27 : loyal

28 : multilingual :P 

29 : mentally strong 

30 : book lover 

 also 

31 : love the way we kissed 

32 : the way we held hands

33 : the way we hugged

34 : they way we made love 

35 : the moments we share 

36 : the way we first saw each other 

37 : the way we first touched  :) 

38 : your first comment :P 

39 :the moments we shared

40 : the  small risks we took 

41 : even the way you cried 

42 : the way you smiled though

43 : the way we talked 

44 : the way you put up with me 

45 : the way i made you laugh

46 : the way you made me laugh 

47 : even the way you made me cry 

48 : loved the way you tried to push me do things 

49 : loved the way  we thought about the future 

50 : pretty much everything we ever did together 

heart and brain

didn't felt love at first sight before
neither i knew what that feeling was
never knew that two eyes
seen each other for the first time
could occupy such a big space in your heart and soul
cause my heart and soul knew right away
my brain was trying to refuse it
the heart was eager to love and to be loved again
but the brain was to afraid to let the body hurt once more
the heart tried the best to make you mine
and then the brain had no reason not to let her love again
but secretly was planning to push you away
and so it did
the brain did pushed you away as he managed to trick the heart
into believing that it wasn't true love
but soon the heart found out
and the heart fought back
this war though has no winners
only losers
because the heart is fighting to win a heart
but that heart belongs to someone else
so the heart is fighting valiantly but
the chances of winning are almost zero
the brain is doing his best not to let the body fall apart
not to let the soul fall back to the darkness of the abyss
they both though fight for a battle that seems lost
but hope is always there as a good friend for both
to remind the one how he didn't fall to the abyss before
and to help the other fight the pain of loving a heart
that has no eyes for him...

YOU

crazy or not
a simple message from you
can turn a shitty day
into  a bright one

a simple smile of  you
can turn my depression
into pure happiness

a simple look from you
and i am lost in your eyes

just simply you 

simply missing you .

It might seem crazy i know
crazy that memories of you are running through my eyes
i don't need much to miss you
i simple wake up and i know i miss you
and no i don't miss the feeling of having someone next me
no i don't miss the feeling of kissing someone
no i don't miss the touch of two people holding hands
neither i miss the warm feeling of a hug
i simply miss having YOU next to me
miss kissing YOU
if i could redo our first kiss only one thing i would change
Kissing you quicker , for in that moment when our lips touched
i knew all ready how i would feel ,
 i knew that it will have to go through storms and bad choices
to always be with you
miss your hands thought ,those delicate small hands that always found a way
between my hand and through my fingers
i miss the hugs we had , they seemed too friendly i know
but they were something more
and of course i simply miss you
as plain and as simple as that
i miss your voice ,i miss your smile
i miss your eyes glowing with happyness
i miss your hair , i miss your smell
i simply miss you 

230 days

so many great poets and writers talked and wrote about love but yet there is not a specific way to determine what love is . Having read so many love poems and so many love quotes i can't either know for sure what love is .What i do know though is that 232 days ago i saw you  224080 minutes ago i last had the chance to touch you but since that day  without knowing it you touched me every day and every minute of my life . You touched my soul and you touched my heart and the funny thing is that you didn't even wanted it to happen . I don't regret trying ,i don't regret talking to you and i don't regret letting my soul open and naked for you to see , i didn't cared  if you would  take the step and give us another chance but i couldn't just sit and wait ,so i tried and i tried till i became a pain in the ass till  reached the edge of depression but the memorie of your smile brought me back . I tried  but you are with another man but that's ok i still tried ,i don't believe that if you love someone  you have to let him go and see if she returns to you but i do believe that if you love someone you want them to be happy with or without you ,of course the perfect scenario would be  to be happy being with me but  life is not perfect and i know that to be a fact .It was perfect for a short amount of time ,
a time where we used to be together but i failed to show it . it may never matter anymore cause we may never be together again but for me those few months where  the best months of my life ,no i am not just writing all this, this is the truth that i feel in my heart . Fact is though that i loved you and still do , fact is that 10 days ago you last talked to me and fact is that 14400  minutes ago you last said a word to me and fact is that i miss you so much .I don't know if that shows love or not but i wont stop trying ,i wont stop caring and surely i won't stop loving you cause i don't know when i ll see you again  , i don't know if it will be in 50 days in 100 days  and i don't know when you gonna talk to me again ,400 minutes  ,12000 minutes ? i don't know but i know i ll wait , i ll wait to see you and hopefully like last time when  i look in your  eyes you ll see that i mean everything i feel. I have no other way of loving you right now but wait for you to see ...

i give up but no i don't

i give up
i just stop right here
i wont do this anymore
i ll simply stop , cant do this
no need to keep working for something

I give up

I give up  chasing
i give up searching
i give up expecting
i give up...

I give  up chasing cause i have found the one
i give up  searching cause i don't need to search again
i give up expecting cause i only expect you

and for that i wond give up on you
i wont give up of me and you
i wont give up on us

i will wait  for you to come  back
i will wait for the pieces fall in to place again
and i will wait for us to be united  once more

till then i am happy for you
till then enjoy your life
till then i hope you are having a good time
and i hope you only break up to be with me

i am sorry i wont give up
but i can't and i wont give up
so have your life with him
but  hopefully we will meet again

All You've Seen - Upon Dark Clouds Are Bright Knives

two teenagers are riding with their bike towards  the mountain , to a place they only know
a place that you see the whole town just below their feet
they are  not running but they are enjoying their ride ...
holding hands and moving up together
as they go through the valeys and through the forests
the birds are flying high and the animals are running wild
both know allready what is coming all ready but they can't do much
all they have now is their love and their two bikes
they are getting close finally
and the sirens start to sound all over the world
they finally reach to their place
they leave their bikes to the ground and move to stand to the edge
they are holding hands as they are watching the down beneath them
the look up in the sky and see the  stars that start to fall down
one by one they hit the ground
they have a couple of seconds left
each start is falling to a different part of the town
they kiss and seal their eternal love
as the shockwave is destroying everything in it's path
and a single pigeon is flying above

rise and shine :)

rise and shine and most of all be happy .you didn't told me if you are happy , you just send me a smily .you know i will always care about you and i want you to be happy no matter what ..not just be ok but HAPPY ,the kind of happy that will make the world see it even if you want to keep it a secret ,the kind of happy where only by being present you help other people be happy cause they ll feel you being happy and they ll see you shine bright that kind of happy ,pure and unconditional happyness . and if you sometimes need someone to remind you that , am always gonna be there ,always and forever so just be HAPPY