i write

the worst nightmare i ever had
i woke up and i was sad ,
everything was dark and everything was sad
my life was a mess
and i was so depressed
the day went by so fast
i write
at night i took a bottle of pills
i fall asleep
i woke up and i was sad ,
everything was dark and everything was sad
my life was a mess
and i was so depressed
the day went by so fast
i write
at night i took a bottle of pills
i fall asleep
i woke up and i was sad ,
everything was dark and everything was sad
my life was a mess
and i was so depressed
the day went by so fast
i write
at night i took a bottle of pills
but the nightmare is that i don't know yet
am i dreaming or  am i dead
and i write 

join the souls

at night the souls come out and play 

they feel nothing but they are happy

they are together they are free 

they don't have worries 

the only thing they do 

is seek more people to join them 

the fear of getting hurt

tick tock you listen to the clock
time goes by and you are sitting alone
with a pen in your hand and a paper in your lab
listening the rain outside
and the wind knocking on your windows
you start to write
all the things you didn't said
what you didn't do
and all the  chances you left fly away
and then you start to write the things you did
the things you dared and the chances you took
you realise that what you did and the chances you took
made you heart break each time even more
that's explain the way you are now
afraid of trying once more
fearing of getting hurt once more

rise up once more

one more night sitting alone
alone in front of the PC screen
listening to music
and writing stuff
stuff that sometimes don't make any sense
when sometimes though they mean the best
hurt for one more time
but this time was not like the rest
you were at the edge of drifting apart
and all you needed was a small push
you got that push and now you are swimming down
down that path you promised not to go again
it's hard this time ,its harder than before
you tried to keep smiling and be strong all along
but sometimes it's get just too rough
so rough and so much pain
you wish it could just go away
you kept being strong for your family and friends
but standing on the edge for so much was not easy
it's time to let go again and free you mind once more
this time is hard i know but fall a bit deeper
i am sure you ll rise up once more

the park of life

look at this kid that plays on the park

he is innocent cause he doesn't know this world

this world soon will be his playground

the swings will be his ups and downs 

and the slides will teach him that life gets you down

but at the same time it teaches you to stand up after each fall

this small park is his world right now 

he has no worries ,just playing around 

swinging around trying to reach for the stars 

getting a small momentum from the ''past'' 

to get him higher and closer to the sun above 

even the kid knows deep down

in order to move on sometimes you have to go back 

in order to get stronger you need to get hurt 

to stand on your two feet strong looking at the world 

you must fall down and then find the strenght to stand up

we as grown ups we take this little things for granted

we look them just as a child's play 

but if you look closer you to realize 

that ,the park we used to play

was actually teaching us what this world is all about 

dark eyes

taking a night walk down in the city's roads
having your headphones on your pace is slow
you getting lost in your thoughts
so many thoughts running through you mind
it's cold but your jacket keeps you warm
a strong chill down you spine shakes you up
you try to warm up but the chill is gone
you keep walking on
another chill down you spin makes you stand still
you put of your headphones and strange noises penetrated your ears
they are not screams they are not laughs they are noises coming from nowhere
your heart is starting to pump a bit heavier with each step you take
the lights start to play with you ,on and off while you walk by them
it's get a lot colder now while a thick vale of smoke start to cover the road
not they air though just the road
you don't know where you going but you trying to go back
something though is holding you back
you turn around but the smoke is gone
you ease your breath and you keep moving on
but a strange sound once again makes you turn around
you see nothing but the dark road with no light to shine at all
but as you turn to move , a dark sinister laugh makes you turn again
seeing deep in the darkness you kind see a thing
only a pair of  eyes staring right in yours  

lone company

look at her , look at her beauty that made you stare
from the first moment you saw her you knew
you felt it in your heart and felt  it in soul
you watched her sit beneath the light
a small part of her face was lighting bright
the rest was covered with her beautiful long hair
her move so gentle and so smooth
her smile so beautiful and captivating
she saw you look at her with those eyes
no they are not green they are not blue
but the way she looked at you
you instantly melt down
your inner world started spinning out of control
and your hearth started pumping like a drum
fast forward to the present
you still like her but she don't
you still want her but she don't
so once again a crossroad is in front
either you let go or you chase with hope as your lone company 

walking in the rain

take a walk in the rain
no umbrella needed
just you and the rain
let it soak you wet
and let it cleanse you down

all your worries will  drown
and all your fear will disappear
your soul will feel rejuvinated
and your mind will see clear

but first you need to make the first step
leave the first fear of rain on your clothers go away
rain is nothing  but it's so much
getting wet outside but inside your soul will burn
you ll get cold but you ll be steaming

so take the first step and leave your umbrella at home
walk down the road and let your body be cleansed

like no other night

this is not like all the other nights
the storm is raging outside
and you are sitting on top of a building
lightings and thunders bomb the ground
flashing lights reveile what's going on
the town on flames from the demons play
the angels falling one by one to fight
fight the hell on earth that you have unleashed
as the king of hell you sit in top of you throne
looking down and seeing all the bloodshed
smile and feeling good about your masterpiece
your demons are winning this time
with everything in line they don't stop killing
and angels don't stop fighting for peace
trying to bring peace once again this world
this dark and evil world
not so distant world
a world thats called your MIND 

winter and love

with eyes shaking and drowned in tears
you wake up each day feeling like it's all lies
sometimes you wish you couldn't feel
sometimes you wish you couldn't really see
feel the love you seek and see the person you need
cause like most of the times after you found love
and met the person you seek
it comes the pain of a broken heart again
it comes the ache in your soul that will slowly eat you down
till you are down again on your knees and feeling lost
loosing your self once again
but only to be found again and reborn like
a tree who shed his leaves on winter and blooms again on spring
but same as the tree
you find love and love goes away
unless if you stay strong through the winter
the love won't go away this time

storm and shine

storms come and go
some stay for long
and some for just a while
all of them though create destruction
their goal it's bring darkness

that's what most people believe though
darkness is neccesary element of ones soul
without darkness light cannot exist

after every storm  the sun comes out again
after darkness rule over your
light begins to shine once more 

like today

the first day when i saw you was like today
a nice cold night back when i used not be ok
at first i didn't realised that something happened
i guess i was just drunk  on my thoughts and didnt realised
that a  new life could had started that night for me
but instead i drunk and i got drunk on my thoughts
leaving no space for you at all
time had passed since that day
and we changed together
walking at parallel roads
but walking at the same pace
we both grew
but you have still a lot to learn
i had still a lot to give
and even more to say
say to you and make you see
that the mistakes i made before
the opportunity i let once go
it's all in the past cause for so much time
i think of you and what we could had been
if i only had took the courage and spoke before
but when i did was so already gone
and was once clear to see that you have grown
and i had more pain to bare on my soul

''hard''life

life is  a struggle you know that you have been told that so many times before
it's tough and it's cruel ,the injustice is all over this world
and you just sit and accept it like a passive sheep
tv and commercialism kept your mind enslave
you have no god anymore and not even sure about your soul
you are owned by the money and controled by the puppeteer in charge
they made you believe that you have your free will
and that your life is completly yours
that the choices you make is what you really want
but they are not ,
you are to damn lost you can't even realize  that you slowly drift away
drift away from your dreams from your real need
letting your emotions get lost through each day's fight
and leaving you a soulless puppet
a puppet whose daily routine is
wake ,work,eat repeat
worry ,hate,depresion repeat
that's you and you let them rule over you
no wonder then that your life is so ''hard''

sea of love

fallen in love once more 

and got hurt from it again 

it was not long ago that you said 

love no more 

and yet you still fall in

you choose to swim in the ocean

the ocean of the emotions that love brings

like waves that come and crush on you 

some let you  with scars and some just wash you off

some just make your pain grow more

while some help you sooth just  a bit 

it's the eternal martyr though 

for those who choose to love 

pain and love walk side by side

and to be able to break them apart

love must overcome and endure all the waves

love must stay still and get beaten up

stand up and light the way

like a lighthouse does for the ships 

only then love will be real 

only then pain will allow you love again 

slave NSFW ( EROTIC STORY)

the first time i was a slave for a mistress was like today , raining and windy .
i had talked with my mistress before and she decided that today , she wanted to test my services as her slave.
She was taller than me and with a body like an ancient Greek goddess ,even though in her late 40s she still was in great shape and extremely beautiful .
As a lawyer you could see that she like to dominant the place and of course that includes her bedroom.
By the time i walked inside her house she order me one simple thing, ''go to my bed and get naked ''. in a while she came in with a cup of hot coffee and still with her uniform on. she sat on the chair and ordered me to take of her shoes and slowly massage her toned feet ,while she was reading her book and drinking her coffee ,she ordered me to clean her toes one by one and then clean her whole leg . as i was licking her black polished toes one by one she was just keep reading her book like i wasn't there.i finished with her toes so i start cleaning her feet slowly slowly , after that i started to clean her sexy leg all the way up to her skirt .
- OK now that you have cleaned up my legs stand up
- yes mistress
she then took my cock in her hand and squeezed it hard ,
-this small cock has no power here
she lifted her skirt pulled down her string and pushed me to the bed ,while she sat on my face smothering me she said
-my pussy is your master and you ll served is as i please
- of course my goddess
barely said that while she was on top of me
she then again grabbed my cock and started teasing me
- if you cum before i cum at least three times i will tied you to bed and make you pay for it .
- i won't my mistress
she then ordered me to clean her ass while she was smacking my cock and balls
i couldn't focus much but i kept doing what my mistress wanted me to do ,
i could feel her wet pussy on my neck when she decided to turn towards me and feed me her pussy .
- you have to suck me for 10 minutes while i play with your cock ,if you cum i ll feed you ,your own cum.
i was licking her wet pussy and i could feel her coming near to orgasm, her nipples were hard her pussy was getting more wet each time and she was grabbing my cock even harder ,
- you are good slave , i am going to cum and you will swallow my juices
-my pleasure my mistress
while i was sucking her pussy she grabbing my cock and pushed my head as far up in her pussy
-open your mouth slave i am cumming
i opened my mouth and she filled me with her warm juices , while she continue squirting i kept swallowing till she stop feeding me .
needless to say i was nearly cumming as well but she hold my cock so strong that i couldn't cum.
- good job slave , for your pleasure i will allow you to grab my boobs and nipples while you still suck my pussy.
while her pussy was so wet i could still swallow some of her juices but allowing me to play with her boobs and nipples kept me going for even more .
she then decided that she wanted her ass cleaned again but this time she wanted me to grab her ass and open it.i could feel her pussy drooling over me but she sat straight in my face with no signs of leaving from there,
unfortunately her phone ranged and she was asked to go on court again
-you are unlucky cause i have to go but you have 10 more minutes to taste me sweet pussy and swallow my warm juices .
i had to please her one more time before she could go, she forced her pussy on my mouth and just enjoyed the how i made her squirt once more ...
- you are a good slave ,now go and wait for my message for the next time .
- thank you my mistress
- but before you go kiss my feet one more time
- my great pleasure mistress
-good boy now off you go ...

batlefield of soul

along the dark night the demons are awaken once again in your mind

each night as you go to sleep they torture you again and again 

not leaving you to rest ,are seeking to haunt  you again

and you are letting them in once again 

how many times ?

how many times you have to fight to learn 

sealing them away wont make them quit 

they are there seeking for revenge with every chance they get

you want to be free 

stop building prisons around them 

and enter the battlefield of your soul

cause once you realised what is in stake might be too late

that's right it's your soul and no one but you cant finally kill your demons 

enter with caution and with grace and don't let them see your fear

cause they are not that powerfull but it's time your fear you feed them even more

so for once and last time in your life

fight till death ,if you win you get to live 

if you loose you lose your self tonight 

end poem

he promised her that he would write a poem 

far more beautiful than her

a poem so enchanting that 

even her magical eyes 

wont be as beautiful as this poem

he begun a while ago , the words he wrote 

were pure as the white snow and as pure as her

they were beautiful like the first flower emerging from the snow

and rare as the full moon flower coming once in a lifetime

he then begun to explain the beauty of her

the words begun to seem so small

and then they run out

they are not enough words in any language combined

to portrait her beauty as  perfectly as she is 

with that the poem ended , the love begun

alone and cold

sometimes you meet the love you need in the most unusual places

they are hiding all along in the most secret locations 

but their location was not that secret 

it was just you never searched 

and because she never reached 

seasons past by as she went away and you stayed here

alone in the cold winters you were both

but you never gave it a try 

and she never saw it coming

then time was not so right this time but you did it anyway

you took it upon yourself to ask the question why

and she replied

 the reply was not the one you seek

but wasn't the answer you didn't expected 

and so the time will pass again and winter will bring you both alone and cold

life's symphony

lights turned off  and candles turned on
sitting infront of your piano
alone in  this semi dark room
with windows open
 heavy rainning outside
bur you are in you world
playing like your life depends on it
keep playing all alone
while you close your eyes
images come in mind
you don't play something old
this is your soul playin on its own
playing note after note
this is not an ordinary play
this is your life's play
this is the song of your life
the only one you will ever write
and the only one you will ever play
you have been good till now
and you start to really improvise
putting notes and melodies here and there
connecting the pieces of your life with each note
you all ready wrote your first part
and finished your prechorus
finally the chorus is here
keep playing it and the end will be as you imagine
the end is been written right now and your are the writer
so keep your mind straight and write
write your life's sympony with a happy end note

full of memories

while the haunting  sound of the violin moves through the walls
reaches you sitting on the chair all alone
with the fireplace turned on
and a bottle of dark poison  along
with the a book full of memoirs on your feet
sober or not turning the pages
the memories come alive
you see them displayed right in front of your two eyes
like puppets moving in and out of your sight
playing with you and torturing your mind
who desperately wants to forget but there is no peace inside
as the memories keep playing with you
a  pale shadow comes in front of you
you try to stand up and reach her
you know it's her
she came to comfort you and help you forget
but as you lean forward to touch her face
she vanishes through the walls
leaving you with empty hands
and a full of memories mind 

angels vs demons

the night is really dark tonight the fight has just begun
again the demons have arise from the depths of hell
the army of the angles is coming down to help again
the creatures of this world are fighting for their home
angels,witches,gargoyles fighting against the evil spirits

they are strong but the demons are equally strong
angels call powers of the unknown
while witches call nature to give them strength
gargoyles fight the good fight in order to be free again

but demons come in hordes they are so many and they are so strong
they are even stronger than before and they lot more dangerous
they are seeking your soul again after all this time

they still didn't rest ,they still fight for your soul
they want to eternally banish and torture you

so stand up and once again face the demons coming for you 

killers

while the blood moon was up last night
i was at home playing the dark notes on my piano
waving the lifes of innocent souls ,with each note
keys didn't matter as long as i heard them scream
and with each note a different scream

i could see the fear in there eyes
i could feel the fear running down their spine
and i enjoyd the chase so much
was even better than the catch it self

it's weird though i don't normally feel like this
sympathy for the dead is not my style
but for them i felt a small sympathy

it might was the fact that they were just married
or the fact that they were just two lost souls

but in my defence i made them a really nice decoration over my fireplace 

see us now

a night like this you once wish you weren't alone 

alone in your room thinking and crying 

alone in your bed with only a pillow to hug you up 

it's not the first time you been like this but sure wont' be the last 

it's just nights like this are easier to remember 

remember all the pain that you have been through 

all the pain you caused to your loved ones 

and all the trouble you created for eveyone you ever loved 

wishing you could easy them up for a while 

but your know you can't do much more now but one thing

just sit on this chair and keep writing, then go back

back to your bed and keep thinking 

thinking why you did what you did 

when you took the path of no return and now 

now you just see us from the sky above wishing you could  make everything better

if you had

wondering around the city streets
you don't care about they heavy rain
your coat is all you need
a warm scurf around you neck
your thoughts to keep you company

imagine again your life ,what could have been
what should have been and what it might be
thoughts ,doubts,and regrets
all pass your mind and leave a small trail behind

and while you walk on the empty streets
you realise you are once again alone
alone with your thoughts like before

and you fall into deeper melancholia with each step forward you make
 you know one thing could have changed that all

if you had only talked 

universe and eyes

laying  beneath the naked sky  watching  the cosmos
feeling so small while looking far beyond
on the deep depths of our universe
getting lost in it's magic and it's beauty
getting in a state of mind like only ecstasy can replicate
feeling so small again but so lucky  we were born
born in this planet and be able to witness this beauty
lucky we have the time and space to see the depths of our existence
seeing the universe is we are seeing the past unfold in front of us
the present we are and the future when the stars fall and burn
then we stay on the ground still looking up and still holding hands
this moment wont last forever but in that small moment the universe become us
the same way i feel like looking the universe i feel while looking in your eyes

happy birthday

you came in like no one else before
you choose to give a chance when none else even thought about
you were crazy i could tell but you are different as well
you were just a girl and i was just a lost soul back then

you got away for a while and you get lost
we lost some time but we didn't lost our souls
when you  emerged again something was not as before
cause i all ready knew i was feeling something more

time passed and we drift apart you took on your way
and i took mine to a different path
but nonetheless we still knew where we were
and in time we found out again

yes you are crazy and sometimes you are insane
but you are strange and you  are different in so many ways
but you are letting the world get inside your soul
and with that sometimes you forget who you really are

you know where to seek when in need for help
cause once i told you i won't go away
just for the sake of your soul
stop hurting your self with the mindless of this world

happy birthday Yong 

make the step

take my hand this time i wont let you go
that's what you said last time and you let me go once more
this time is different i wont let you go i wont hesitate
if you just decide and give it a chance

we both know that something strong is here
something that can turn into something magical
something we both want and we both look for
so take the chance we have now and made the choice

live alone each other and wish for the things we both wish
take the chance and be togethere and will see what the future will hold
but first we must agree that we want this both of us
and we will fight and scratch for this
but only if you take the chance 

autumn

autumn came again and instantly you saw people changing
you saw the people who were so happy just being depressed
the autumn brings so much more to some people
and to some takes aways so much

to some people autumn brings the a new era
a new beginning to the journey of self awareness
the journey of transformation is beginning now
and the end is still far away

to others though it takes back the joy and happiness
it takes the to the end of their road
to the end of their transformation
and the end is right now

but like all the seasons autumn is needed
for people to progress on
or for people to let something behind